Grieving Jack

I watched the funeral of Jack Layton on TV with mixed emotions. I cried for him like he was a friend. I didn't know him at all, except for see what he fought for. This year was the first time that I actually believed in my vote for the federal election and not throwing my vote to the party that had the best chance of being opposition to our current Prime Minister. Finally, there was a leader I truly believed in. His funeral really showed me that I made the right choice. He believes in equality for all, regardless of your ethnic background, social class, sexual orientation or where in Canada you live. Leave no one behind, a unified country. Oneness. I was amazed at how spiritual the service was, which reflected and showed me his spiritual side. I love you Jack for who you are and being another human being oriented to a better country. There was talk about making our country a better place, but I feel he wanted Canada to be a great leading country, as it once was (not viewed as the followers of US as we are sometimes perceived to be). Jack was the embodiment of the "divine masculine" energy, action for positive change. And for that, I thank him.

From my own spiritual experience and when I see clients, I know that our loved ones never leave us energetically/spiritually. My maternal grandmother passed when I was 4 years old, and yet I feel her presence all the time. I see sunflowers in special places as a sign from her that everything is ok. I hear a special song in my head when a loved one of one of my clients comes through in a healing session. It's a sign from my grandmother that she is working with me on the other side to help with the healing of my client. When I ask for help in my personal life, I feel her calm but elating energy.

So I know the energy of Jack Layton will never leave Canadians. He loved and fought for so many in this country, I can't imagine him going anywhere else to see how we move forward with his dream. So I pray for all Canadians, that they receive what they need for their grieving process and to remember that "love never dies" (as I saw Olivia Chow say to a Torontonian on TV). We can think of this great man in time of struggle and ask "what would Jack do?". Maybe he will send us a message.

The night that he passed, I could not sleep until 5 am for some reason. When I heard the news on Monday, August 22nd, it took me awhile to deal with the shock. During a quite moment, I was planning my week and I noticed that Jack passed on the 22, which is a number that represents transition for me. I also noticed that it was the 234th day of the year, which is a number that indicates 'flow of life' for me. I felt it was a message to me that his passing was meant to be and everything was ok.

I hope he is resting well on the other side, resting from the many years he has been of service to Canadians. And that he looks on us, knowing that we are grateful and that his dreams will come true one day.

REM: Rebel Entering Maturation

REM's album Automatic For The People was such an important album for me in my later highschool years. My yearbook comment quoted Nightswimming (Track 11), because it embodied freedom to me. A few summers in highschool, my girlfriends and I went camping. That album played on our trip there, we enjoyed the freedom of nature and went skinny dipping. I don't think I was so 'free' for years after that (due to the conditioning and stress of University and corporate world). I miss my inner rebel. She taught me how to be free and not conform. My best friend at the time quoted Find the River (Track 12), and I never resonated with that song until these past few months. Listening to it now, I wish I even got the first verse! 

I had to take that leap of faith in October 2009 and quit my job in the pharmaceutical industry. The stress was making me physically ill and I was sure that the energy of it (the job/industry/people/ethics) was not resonating with me. It was not my dharma to climb that corporate ladder in that industry. My inner rebel was busting out and saying no more overworking! No more 9-5! I miss living and having fun! So I had to leave and get my butt to pursuing my true passion of working with people individually (not in a home based, email and teleconference interaction) and supporting them by providing energy treatments (Reiki, Reflexology, and other fun stuff!).

I decided to treat myself (thanks to the the work of The Artist's Way) to an astrology reading the other day. It is not my area of expertise since I like to focus on energy work, channeling and working with spirit guides/angels. It was so interesting. During my session, she starts telling a story about how we have our boat sailing down our parents river (what they want for us), but eventually, we have to find our own river. How funny because I said earlier that day that "I had to leave pharma for my dharma".

It has been a struggle for me to quit such a lucrative industry that dominates the health care industry and build up a business doing holistic and energetic therapies. Oh yes...the little engine that could. Thankfully, I have connected with my inner rebel that fuels that little engine and also reminds me to play to re-charge myself. She has taken the boat out of that river and now hopefully, following this one it will lead me to the ocean. Oneness.


Here are the lyrics to REM's "Find the River".  I've posted a youtube link to the music video (in case you want the visual and audio experience)

Hey now, little speedyhead,
the read on the speedmeter says
you have to go to task in the city
where people drown and people serve.
Don't be shy. Your just deserve
is only just light years to go.

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
ocean storm, bayberry moon.
I have got to leave to find my way.
Watch the road and memorize
this life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

The ocean is the river's goal,
a need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go.

I have got to find the river,
bergamot and vetiver
run through my head and fall away.
Leave the road and memorize
this life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

There's no one left to take the lead,
but I tell you and you can see
we're closer now than light years to go.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
Fall into the ocean.

The river to the ocean goes,
a fortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
of Ginger, lemon, indigo,
coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
the privileged and weary eyes
of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way


Thanks for reading!

Namaste